Ep. 106: Teaching Children How to Have Self-Esteem with Paula Sacks

Teaching Children How to Have Self-Esteem with Paula Sacks PIN

Teaching Children How to Have Self-Esteem with Paula Sacks

Paula Sacks is an attachment specialist in private practice in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts. 

She was one of the authors on the award-winning book Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair.

She has recently written a book for new parents called, The Importance of Love Rays: Developing secure attachment in infancy and childhood; as well as a children’s book called Love Rays.

The Unspoken Topic

  • Your attachment style with your child creates the foundation for the way they are in relation to the world around them and stays with them throughout their lives. 

What We Cover

  • 5 important steps for showing up for your child to help them grow into resilient and confident individuals.
  • The key element that makes the connection between you and your child so special.
  • What children really need to feel safe and trust in life. 

Take a Listen >>

Key Takeaways

  • Don’t strive for perfection. When you are with your child, be present with them. Quality trumps quantity every time.
  • Children learn through their eyes, not their ears.
  • Be available and responsive to your children. That’s the bottom line.

Actionable Solution

 How to Develop Secure Attachment With Your Child


  • When children are scared or unsure, they need to feel safe. The parent is there to protect them.
PRIMARY CONDITION TWO: Feeling Seen and Known
  • A child needs to feel understood and attuned to.
  • Emotional regulation to help a child feel soothed.
  •  Self-esteem is developed in a child when they have a sense of accomplishment and then they have a shared sense of joy when they see their parents reflect that back to them.
PRIMARY CONDITION FIVE: Felt Support for Best Self
  •  When children have internalized one through four, they start to feel really good about themselves. They know they have a solid foundation and support system.




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Mama Has a Minute 

  • Favorite form of self-care: Napping.
  • Best parenting advice ever received: Enjoy your children and don’t stress about having a clean house.
  • Parenting Hack: Smile through your eyes to your children.
  • Product Child cannot live without:  Security Blanket.
  • Share 1 book:  Good Night Moon.
  • What motherhood means to you: Motherhood is my life.

Freebies From Us at Raising Children You Like

Action Steps For *You*

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