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Not Your Mother's Podcast Parenting Positive Discipline

Ep. 41: The Secret To Getting Your Kids To Behave with Ralphie Jacobs

The Secret To Getting Your Kids To Behave with Ralphie Jacobs PIN

The Secret to Getting Your Kids to Behave with Ralphie Jacobs

Ralphie Jacobs lives in Austin Texas with her husband and 4 daughters.

As an early childhood education expert, she quickly learned that the best way to impact a child’s life for good is to teach parents.

She founded Simply on Purpose, where she writes about parenting, family culture and living with purpose.

She travels the country speaking at sold-out workshops on positive parenting. 

The Unspoken Topic

  • When it comes to behavior, it’s not about the children having issues, it’s about the parent having behaviorial issues. If you want to change your child’s behavior, the parent must change theirs.

What We Cover

  • Why the behavior issues start with us.
  • Learning how to model living with technology.
  • Tips on learning how to reinforce positive behavior.

Take a Listen >>

Key Takeaways

  • How children act isn’t personal, it’s developmental.
  • Children should not dictate how you feel. It is your responsibility as the parent to model the behavior they mirror back.
  • We have been pressured by society to have our child behave positively at all times. This has become a social matter.
  • You lose the mom guilt when you do things with purpose and not from a reactive place.
  • When we are angry, we lack the skills and allow our vulnerable feelings to dictate our behavior.
  • “Leave well enough alone” is awful advice because children need to be paid attention to when they do something good.
  • 95% of children’s good behavior goes unnoticed. 
  • Junk behavior is screaming, whining, slamming doors, eye rolling, sticking out tongue. It doesn’t damage or destroy. 
  • When you pay attention ONLY to the positive behavior, the behavior you want more of and ignore the junk behavior, 80% of the junk behavior will go away because children are wired to want their parent’s attention and approval.
  • We are the first generation to model what it’s like to live with technology.
  • It’s never too late for positive change.
  • We magnify things all the time. The good and the bad.
  • Tell your child how you want them to behave so they know what is expected of them.
  • When you are reinforcing good behavior, ask your child questions rather than telling them. They have the answer within them and they love to be right.
  • Create momentum with positive reinforcement so the child feels seen and heard.
 

Actionable Solutions

 How to Reinforce Positive Behavior

  • First, learn how to separate yourself from you child’s behavior. Know that it’s developmental
  • Become an analyst. Ask yourself, how can I better teach my child?
  • Don’t pay attention to the junk behavior. Pay attention to the behavior you want to cultivate. 
  • When you pay attention to the positive behavior, they feel seen, they feel heard, and they want to do more good because they are wired to want approval from their parents.
  • You can see positive change in as little as one day.
 

How to Model Living With Technology

  • Set timed boundaries around technology when you are with your kids. For example: from 10-12p is screen time. From 12-3p is no screen time.
  • If you need to use the phone during non-screen time hours, make sure to tell your kids exactly what you are doing so they know it’s intentional.
  • Get a watch so you can check the time and not be tempted to check your phone.
  • Set “Do Not Disturb” on your phone so you don’t get notifications.
  • Make eye contact with your kids during the non-screen time hours because it is important for their development and a great way to bond.
  • If you work from home, make sure to get your work done when your kids aren’t around so they can see what a healthy relationship with technology looks like.
  • Hold off on screens for your kids as long as you can. Be when you do, make sure they have already learned their self-worth, without anyone else telling them who they are and have also learned to self-regulate and manage time.
 

 

 

 

Hardest Decision To Make as a Mom

  •  Starting Simply on Purpose because she is giving so much of herself and her family time. She has opened up her home and family to other people which was hard to do. 

A-Ha Moment About Parenting

  •  Realizing children will learn when they are ready, not when you are ready to teach them.

Most Excited About

  •  Summer time with her kids.

Ralphie’s Gift

The Secret To Getting Your Kids To Behave with Ralphie Jacobs

This email course series is so eye-opening, it will make you stop dead in your tracks to really look at your behavior and what you can do about it.

To grab Ralphie’s gift, add your email below and we’ll send it on over. You’ll be opting into both of our email lists so you can receive even more goodies!


Mama Has a Minute 

  • Favorite form of self-care: Bubble bath
  • Best parenting advice ever received: Never leave well enough alone.
  • Share your favorite parenting hack: Wet paper towels. They heal everything on kids. Bug bites, cuts, scrapes, eye hurts, etc.
  • Recommend one product your children cannot live without: Time with their kids.
  • Share your favorite book and why: Parenting with Love: How to Make a Difference in a Day.
  • What motherhood means to you: Motherhood is trying to become. Whatever it is you want to become, motherhood will get you there because it doesn’t take away from your life, it gives you so much.

 



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