Ep. 91: Helping Your Child Through Trauma Inducing Situations with Roma Norriss

Helping Your Child Through Trauma Inducing Situations with Roma Norriss PIN

Helping Your Child Through Trauma Inducing Situations with Roma Norriss

Roma is a somatic, trauma-informed, connection-based Parenting Education in the UK.

The Unspoken Topic

  • There’s an assumption that if we’ve had trauma, there will be some long-lasting effects on our children. The good news is we are built to recover from trauma. No matter what we’ve been through, it’s redeemable. 

What We Cover

  • Strategies on recovering from trauma.
  • How to support your child through the stresses of life.
  • Promote a healthy sibling relationship.

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Key Takeaways

  • Humans recover from stress by emotional releases such as crying, laughing, ranting, raging, sweating, trembling. This is the body’s way of releasing tension.
  • Children recover from trauma when they feel a warm presence and the emotional safety we offer. This allows their body to automatically go through trauma-processing.
  • For sharing, whoever has the toy can have it for as long as they have it. When they are ready to share it, they can share it. No making things fair in life. So instead of making a way for everyone to be happy, you can say, “you really want that and you’re really upset.” And let them be upset. Let them get it out. That is the work to process the hurt.
  • “Bad behavior” is a red flag there is an underlying need. We know our kids are inherently good and sweet and loving. So if they are unable to be sweet with each other, we know their reasoning brain is down and they need help to work through things
  • We are not reinforcing the behavior by attending to our child’s tantrums. We are addressing the underlying need.

Actionable Solution

 How to Help Your Child Through Trauma or Life’s Stresses

  • First, you have to learn to regulate yourself so you are not frightened by their big feelings.
  • Reparent yourself so you can be steady and regulated for your child.
  • Your child’s needs your regulated brain to sync up to. When you are steady and strong, your child can lean into that.
  • In order to be that steady presence of your child, you have to do your work.
  • Main tool in trauma recovery is “Stay Listening.”
  • Allow and encourage your child to express their feelings. Lean in when they are having these big emotions. 
  • Don’t take the feelings personally. 
  • You can say things to your child that allows them to really feel the pain in a real way. The big fuss is the body’s way of moving through and releasing the trauma.
  • “It’s really good you’re crying about this. I’m going to be right here with you while you cry.”
  • You can still hold warm limits while they are upset. 
  • All of this helps your child’s nervous system to relax.


Hardest Decision to Make as a Mom

  • She has been very unwell since her daughter was born and has had to give full custody to their dad.





How to Stay Connected to Your Partner

  • They both make full use of their listening practice so they can offload their feelings and stress. They don’t get to a place where they take it out on each other. So they create the space to uphold each other’s goodness and respect. 





Most Excited About

  • Taking part in the Embodiment Conference.




Romas’s Gift For You

Helping Your Child Through Trauma Inducing Situations with Roma Norriss Gift

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Mama Has a Minute 

  • Favorite form of self-care: Having impeccable boundaries.
  • Best parenting advice ever received: Whatever state the children are in is a clear reflection of where your children are.
  • Favorite parenting hack: Listening partnerships.
  • Share 1 book:  “Listen” by Patty Whiffler
  • What motherhood means to you: Motherhood is one of the most profound spiritual paths.


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